Friday, January 30, 2009

My Lo-LEE-ta


God, what agony, that silky shimmer above her temple grading into bright brown hair.
...phantom little Lolitas dancing, falling, daisying all over the counter.
Nothing could have been more childish than her snubbed nose,
 freckled face or the purplish spot on her naked neck where a fairytale vampire had feasted...
Sometimes I attempt to kill in my dreams. But do you know what happens? 
For instance I hold a gun. For instance I aim at a bland, quietly interested enemy. 
Oh, I press the trigger all right, but one bullet after another feebly 
drops on the floor from the sheepish muzzle. In those dreams, 
my only thought is to conceal the fiasco from my foe, who is slowly growing annoyed.
And she was mine, she was mine, the key was in my fist, 
my fist was in my pocket, she was mine.
Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta:
 the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap,
 at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, 
in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. 
She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line.
 But in my arms she was Lolita.
...a velvet hair ribbon was still clutched in her hand; her honey-brown body...
Everything was somehow so right that day. So blue and green.
...That vibrant sky seemed as naked as she was under her light frock.
 I saw her face in the sky, strangely distinct as if it emitted a faint radiance of its own.
We had been everywhere. We had really seen nothing.
And I catch myself thinking today that our long journey
 had only defiled with a sinuous trail of slime the lovely, trustful, dreamy, 
enormous country that by then, in retrospect, was no more to us than a collection 
of dog-eared maps, ruined tour books, old tires, and her sobs in the night-
every night, every night- the moment I feigned sleep.
...Because what I feared most was not that she might ruin me, 
but that she might accumulate sufficient cash to run away. 
I believe the poor fierce-eyed child had figured out 
that with a mere fifty dollars in her purse she might
 somehow reach Broadway or Hollywood...
What stopped me was that awful feeling that if I meddled with fate 
in any way and tried to rationalize her fantastic gift, that gift would be snatched away...




excerpts from Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita".




This post took me a long time to finish.
Mostly because this story is so captivating that I found myself re-reading it as I went along.
If you haven't read it, do so immediately.
It will stay with you whether you like it or not.
Anyway, hope you are all well, dears. Love you!

11 comments:

Jane said...

I am reading the book right now, it's amazing :)

Belen Vazquez Amaro said...

I love all these images!

Endofmarch said...

Very nice post!
I haven't read the book yet, but I probably will one day...

have a nice day!

*miss-elty said...

I've been silently following your blog for a while. But I had to come out from under that silence and tell you how lovely this post was. =)

I look forward to more.

Heart in a cage said...

I adore Nabokov's Lolita. I really love this book and his other work. I haven't seen the movie(s) yet. But I'm planning to go to the library this weekend and borrow the last movie(there are two lolita movies, one made in the 60s and the other one in the 90s).

Krystal said...

those photos were just amazing!

Diorama said...

This book means more to me than I could ever explain to anyone. You picked lovely photos to illustrate it.

**

sofiatome said...

i love the running shots!! they're beautiful.

Indie.Tea said...

What an exquisite post! "Lolita" is an absolutely captivating, stunningly well-written book.

Sandra said...

love it! i want to read that book really bad.

ANGELICA! said...

oh, this is so, so perfect. you have captured some of the most amazing excerpts from the book, and coupled them with photographs that are fresh and new and so painstakingly lovely that i can't really explain it, just as i can't tell you how much i love this post, as well as your blog in general...
so nice to find this :)
<3, angelica