"In vain have I struggled. It will not do.
My feelings will not be repressed.
You must allow me to tell you
how ardently I admire and love you."
Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression.
She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent.
This he considered sufficient encouragement;
and the avowal of all that he felt,
and had long felt for her, immediately followed.
He spoke well; but there were feelings
besides those of the heart to be detailed,
and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride.
His sense of her inferiority- of its being a degradation-
of the family obstacles which judgement
had always opposed to inclination,
were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due
to the consequence he was wounding,
but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.
In spite of her deeply-rooted dislike, she could not be insensible
to the compliment of such a man's affection,
and though her intentions did not vary for an instant,
she was at first sorry for the pain he was to receive;
till, roused to resentment by his subsequent language,
she lost all compassion in anger.
..."In such cases as this, it is, I believe,
the established mode to express a sense of obligation
for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned.
It is natural that obligation should be felt,
and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you.
But I can not- I have never desired your good opinion,
and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.
I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone.
It has been most unconsciously done, however,
and I hope will be a short duration. The feelings which, you tell me,
have long prevented the acknowledgment of your regard,
can have little difficulty in overcoming it after this explanation."
Mr. Darcy, who was leaning against the mantelpiece
with his eyes fixed on her face, seemed to catch her words
with no less resentment than surprise.
His complexion became pale with anger,
and the disturbance of his mind was visible in every feature.
He was struggling for the appearance of composure,
and would not open his lips till he believed himself to have attained it.
The pause was to Elizabeth's feelings dreadful.
At length, in a voice of forced calmness, he said:
" And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting!
I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why,
with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus rejected.
But it is of small importance."
" I might as well inquire," replied she,
"why with so evident a design of offending and insulting me,
you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will,
against your reason, and even against your character?
Was this not some excuse for incivility, if I was uncivil?
But I have other provocations. You know I have.
Had not my own feelings decided against you-
had they been indifferent, or had they even been favourable,
do you think that any consideration would tempt me
to accept the man who has been the means of ruining,
perhaps for ever, the happiness of a most beloved sister?"
...With assumed tranquility he then replied:
" I have no wish of denying that I did everything in my power
to separate my friend from your sister,
or that I rejoice in my success.
Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself."
excerpt from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
I don't know.
I'm feeling reckless.
I feel like running around the streets and yelling at everybody.
(But I never will.)